Self Image: The Tragedy
Siobhan Clarke
Issue date: 2/8/10 Section: Impact Staff Blogs
BLOG 2/18 - In this day and age image means the world to people. With fewer role models and corporate companies setting the trend and standard, so many people fall through the cracks dying to make the mark, but at what cost?
It was early this week when I learned some dark secrets. They weren't mine but a friend. She told me that she was depressed and I thought nothing of it but became clearer that her claim had validity. So as we talked, we took a trip down the rocky course of her stormy memory. A straight A - student who lived among the bustle of the crowd, she was never seen, only speaking when spoken to. Slowly, as time progressed she explained how one bad decision sent her life on a downward spiral towards disaster.
So what happened? "I've been carrying a lot of stuff I just want to get of my chest," she said. It seemed for many years there were unresolved issues and events that had occurred that had left her taunted, battered, and abused. She grew in a family that muted her voice. Not allowed to talk or vent, it piled up as hurt and pain. Wearing a mask at all times she masqueraded around as the person who she thought everyone wanted her to be. Gradually drowning out the person on the inside, losing her identity. Wanting to be perfect was her main objective. It seemed the people around her were leaches, always wanting something from her, draining her every single time. So she needed a release. First it was cigarettes and then she upgraded to dust. After years of the pile up, holding onto her childhood abuse, and the pain of not knowing her real family. She had a lot of questions that went unanswered. She wondered if anyone could love her just for her.
"I felt buried alive," she commented.
Did anyone hear her cry for help? It took several trips to the rehab center and waking up in an unknown place for her to realize that she needed assistance.
"I don't love myself, I need to love me for me, but I'm afraid if people get to know the real me they won't love me."
This only left me with one thought. It's time to get real. Is committing suicide the way out? I believe that it's our duty to listen helping those around us. And for those who may read this blog and may feel similar to my friend, I like to say there are people who will listen.
It was early this week when I learned some dark secrets. They weren't mine but a friend. She told me that she was depressed and I thought nothing of it but became clearer that her claim had validity. So as we talked, we took a trip down the rocky course of her stormy memory. A straight A - student who lived among the bustle of the crowd, she was never seen, only speaking when spoken to. Slowly, as time progressed she explained how one bad decision sent her life on a downward spiral towards disaster.
So what happened? "I've been carrying a lot of stuff I just want to get of my chest," she said. It seemed for many years there were unresolved issues and events that had occurred that had left her taunted, battered, and abused. She grew in a family that muted her voice. Not allowed to talk or vent, it piled up as hurt and pain. Wearing a mask at all times she masqueraded around as the person who she thought everyone wanted her to be. Gradually drowning out the person on the inside, losing her identity. Wanting to be perfect was her main objective. It seemed the people around her were leaches, always wanting something from her, draining her every single time. So she needed a release. First it was cigarettes and then she upgraded to dust. After years of the pile up, holding onto her childhood abuse, and the pain of not knowing her real family. She had a lot of questions that went unanswered. She wondered if anyone could love her just for her.
"I felt buried alive," she commented.
Did anyone hear her cry for help? It took several trips to the rehab center and waking up in an unknown place for her to realize that she needed assistance.
"I don't love myself, I need to love me for me, but I'm afraid if people get to know the real me they won't love me."
This only left me with one thought. It's time to get real. Is committing suicide the way out? I believe that it's our duty to listen helping those around us. And for those who may read this blog and may feel similar to my friend, I like to say there are people who will listen.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Julia
posted 2/24/10 @ 9:54 AM EST
If you try hard to please people and forget about yourself - you simply lose your identity...It is really sad...Do not look for ideal, look for excellent!
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